Hula Pig

by admin on December 21, 2009

My tastes in Christmas tree ornaments are a quasi-weird mix of sentimental and the odd so it seemed quite natural to me to add an ornament to the tree which reflected my interest in hula and appreciation of pigs as delicious farm animals. And thus several years ago Hula Pig became a member of my Christmas tree menagerie.

My children, exclusively the female ones, did not share my eccentric choice and declared Hula Pig to be vulgar and inappropriate. “Why?,” said I. “It’s just a pig!”

“Mom, it’s wearing a bikini and she looks so skanky.”

“You two must be kidding, right? It’s a pig! How skanky can a pig be?”

“It’s immodest, Mom. Can we hide it somewhere?”

“Only a truly bizarre man would be stumbled by a bikini-clad, glass ornament of a fat Hula Pig.  It’s a pig!”

Last year the girls succeeded in hiding Hula Pig in the deepest recesses of the tree towards the back.  But not this year!  I was determined to display her in all her piggy Hawaiian glory.   My only concession was to place her at knee level rather than eyeball level.

Thus began the silent war to hide Hula Pig’s alleged immodesty.  Someone was quietly turning Hula Pig around so that her bikini wasn’t showing and just as quietly, I would turn her back around again.  Back and forth we go….

I’m winning at the moment.

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